Frugal is here. Or maybe not?

While trying to achieve world domination through the blog, I find I spend a lot of time reading about other people's life. I read the news (which I have succeeded in avoiding for quite a while after we left Israel. In Israel everyone is news-crazy, mainly because there are always news, but after leaving Israel I managed to not read/listen/watch any news for a few years. Now I once again am connected to the news here and in Israel. I am not sure I like it), I read parenting & women magazine on (and off) line, I try to squeeze in the odd book when I can (it's tough, because I don't like stopping in the middle of a book and do you know how hard it is to find 5 free hours to read?) and of course I read blogs. Lots and lots and lots of blogs. Mummy blogs, daddy blogs, money-management blogs, party blogs, photography blogs, baking blogs (my favourite kind)... So many blogs, so little time to bake.
Why am I telling you all this? not because I want to make you a list of all my reading materials, but because while reading it all I found out some things, about myself and about the world around me.
I learned the words "thrifty" and "frugal" which I didn't know the meaning of, and I have to say, still sounds somewhat like swear-words. According to "Frugal Family", being thrifty is all about making the most of what you've got and being frugal is about saving money where you can, and apparently "frugal is cool" nowadays, so I sat out to check - are we frugal? are we thrifty?

Walking down Regent St. Where else would you check your frugalness?

I couldn't find a comprehensive free list of what it means to be frugal, though there are plenty of ebooks on the subject. Lesson number one then, is that being frugal means making other people spend money. Yes, well, I can see how that works out logically for the authors. I mean who amongst us doesn't know the saying - you got to spend money to make money? As you can imagine I did not buy any of those books, though now that I think about it, about a lifetime ago we did buy one book on the subject which was actually good, so if any Hebrew speaking person wants a recommendation try esh-lidor and their newsletters (don't worry, they haven't paid for my opinion - I wish they would, and I won't charge you for mine).
So I combed through many blogs and websites and checked myself against the points they all mentioned -
1. Plan your meals. That one is so easy, of course I'm frugal. We eat according to the Mediterranean way - big meal at lunchtime, small (usually uncooked) meal in the evening. First of all, it's healthier for you and second I hate cooking. Also, this is where this family obsessive-compulsive behaviour towards food comes in handy - they all eat the same things every day. Very easy to plan.
2. Eat leftovers. Seriously?! I am not ashamed to say it - I love leftovers. Some food I make just so I can have leftovers. Did I hear anyone say cold pizza for breakfast? so yay! Frugal.
3. Buy cheaper meat / buy uncut meat / etc. meat things. Well. No. I am a vegetarian and Hidai's idea of cooking is putting things in the microwave. I have two rules when it comes to meat - that I will have to "deal" with it as little as possible, and that I will not be afraid of what they put in it. So, although I don't buy Kosher (which is safer on the - what they put in it - front, but also much MUCH more expensive), I do buy only processed meat and pre-cut meat from a select few brands. So, not frugal at all. But I do bake all my sweets myself from scratch. And we eat so much more sweets than meat, so that makes us semi-frugal (and wholly sweet).

Home-made cookies

4. Make you own cleaning product. No thank you. I did think about it a few times, but ended up buying them. Oh and to add insult to injury, not only do I use branded ones, I also buy wipes. Lots and lots of wipes. I have toilet wipes, glass wipes, floor wipes, granit wipes, wood wipes and dust wipes. I also am not big on home-made beauty treatments. I cut my own hair though. So it counts (even if it is because I am afraid of hairdressers and not because I want to save money).

Home-made haircut

5. Don't have a window cleaner, house cleaner, gardner, or dog walker. Check. Okay, back to being frugal.

Yon cleaning

6. Car related issues. Very frugal. Don't own a car. See how I saved on gas, insurance, repairs, parking and everything else? Sure, it's because we can't get used to the whole other-side of the road thing, and parking is hell in London. But you can still say it's frugal. We have an Oyster card with a pay-as-you-go and two feet. Very economical, and also eco-friendly.

Going places

 


7. Grow stuff. And no, they don't mean mold. They mean vegetables. Great idea, we should start. The only thing is, history teaches us that whenever I start investing in plants is usually the time we start thinking about moving on to the next country, and we are not ready to move on yet. Also, tiny problem of the balcony being too narrow and without direct light. But those are really just details. Not frugal :(

My balcony in Gibraltar

 

8. Make your own coffee. Oh, thank God, one I am totally frugal on. Yes, I do make my own coffee  (I have a Nespresso machine that I can't live without). It's really because British version of coffee is, let's just say less-than-satisfactory and leave it at that, and also because, well, I'm home all day so I don't really have a chance to grab a cup of coffee on the way to work now do I?

My red-dotty coffee mug (and cheese cake)

9. Smart Supermarket shopping. I don't know about this one. I am sure you can live on less than us, but I do try buying in bulk the non-perishables, buying on sales, buying "own" brands, and generally buying less. While researching for this post, I found the website Approved Food UK that sales clearance things, which I think I will try. The thing is, I buy my food online because of lack of car & near stores, and what I discovered is this - the difference between the "cheap" shops and the "expensive" ones can come down to the delivery costs, so it's not always worth your while to split your shopping between stores, and buying online is good budget-wise since it lets you compare prices, check unit-price and stick to your budget more easily.

My first ever Sainsbury's order

10. Entertain at home. Easy one. As a couple with two kids and no free time, local friends, and social-tendencies we entertain only ourselves. That usually happens at home.
11. Keep fit for free. Well, if you don't exercise then it's totally free. You don't need gym membership, fancy gym clothes or equipment! Truth is, we do exercise at home these days, but I promise you - it's only temporary. We will be back to our regular no exercise regime in no time. (Could have put an embarrassing exercising photo here and didn't. So earned another point for that.)
12. Vouchers, coupons, discounts, etc. Should try harder, I know I should. We have all the cards, we get all the newsletters, we collect all the relevant points. But we don't always remember to use them properly or on time. A lesson we learned the hard way - if you see an offer you like, use it the minute you see it. These things tend to run out pretty fast. We did buy some Christmas gifts last year out of our points and got to go to the Zoo for half price. And we always remember when Papa John's have their BOGOF day. So I have to give myself half a point there.

Kids at Zoo. Discount tickets at hand.

13. Sell on eBay. This one is real tricky for me. I saw lots of people advocating selling things to add money to your budget, and being frugal. I get it when it comes to the big things, I mean when we used to have furniture of our own (instead of renting furnished like now), we sold them every time we replaced them, and we sold every little thing we didn't take with us when we left Israel. BUT, I don't get it with the kids stuff. If they grow out of toys / clothes / books, I usually donate them to the nursery / school. It never occurred to me to sell those things on eBay. I have to say, maybe it's more frugal, but it still doesn't feel right. That being said, I have Ron's Nintendo that I saved for Yon but he can't use, and I am going to try my hand at eBay selling for the first time. Unless someone here wants to buy it...

Nintendo for sale.

14. Bills. We do pay them on direct-debit usually, but I can't really say that we do much more. I mean being frugal means you have to do things like making sure you pay the best rates on your electricity. We don't. Not because we don't think it's important but because, well, the bill is in our landlord's name. And we would have to call him, and ask him to change the rates. The man has yet to schedule an electrician to replace the faulty wiring that caused 2 of our bulbs to stop working. It's been a week. We do use energy saving bulbs though, so at least we are eco-friendly even if not totally frugal here... (and also, we don't pay for the heating through the electricity bill).
15. Packed lunch. I eat at home, so does Yon, and Hidai takes a packed lunch to work (I bought him the most adorable "Keep calm and have lunch" lunchbox. So manly). Ron eats at school. So I am putting it down as frugal.

It's not packed, but it's lunch

16. Vintage. As in used, second-hand, updated or whatever. The answer is one - no. I find it hard enough to shop in regular shops. For some reason second-hand shops makes me even more nervous. I do shop on sales when I buy in the high-street shops though, and Yon gets Ron's old clothes with some extras from the cheapest shops we can find, because Ron keeps his clothes spotless ever since he was a baby. Yon on the other hand... so it must count for something.

Do they look similar?

 

17. Price comparisons. This one I can honestly say yes, always. Especially when it comes to the big things, for Christmas, for birthdays. Always.
18. Libraries instead of buying books. This is another tricky one. For me I download what I want to read and read it on the iPhone, but for the kids I love buying books, and for them it's one of their presents at Christmas / birthday. Ron is now starting to move towards downloadable books, but for Yon it's still buy, buy, buy. It's the same with movies - they get DVDs twice a year (about 4 per child per time), and watch one every non-school morning. Say I swapped instead of bought, I would have needed to think of other gifts, and that is a big no-no.

19. Use your stocks, well I do. But then you have to re-stock don't you? So it's a never ending cycle which I don't really get how it is frugal, other than the first time when you use everything you stocked while you were on a non-frugal lifestyle.
20. Know your budget. I do. More than I would like. We use Toshl, and I wholeheartedly recommend it to everyone else as the best budget app I know of, and we use it to keep track of every penny we have going in and out. It is the most used and hated app on my phone (except maybe for the Candy Crush).

So are we frugal or not? I started the list saying a flat-out, capital NO. Somewhere in the middle of the way I said a small yes, but I finish it with a resounding not sure. Some things we do, other there is no way in hell we will ever do. Some things we are good at, with some we should try harder. But having two kids, one stable income, and some rough years behind us means that we have to be, I don't know, sensible with money? frugal? it means we have to have an intimate knowledge of our budget. It also means we get to use our beloved saying "it will be better in two years". it's been 13 come December, and still the saying remains.
I guess to my way of thinking only people who are not in a "financial situation" have a right to give any financial advice. But seeing how the whole internet disagrees, and how I discovered we are (surprisingly enough) not that bad with the whole frugal trend, and since I am not going to charge you for my wisdom, then my two cents on the subject is, that the one important thing is - don't feel poor. Find out what makes you feel frugal, sensible & smart, and what makes you feel just plain poor. It doesn't have to be logical, it doesn't have to be something expensive, it doesn't have to be a real poor-people-thing, but if it makes you feel poor than just don't do it. If buying a certain type of bread makes you feel poor, buy the kind you like. Other things will be sacrificed without feeling bad.
And also, live long and prosper :)