FoMo and us

You know the saying "you learn something new every day"? well, yesterday I learned about FoMo. If you are like me, you've probably never heard of FoMo, and are now looking at the screen going "what the hell is she on about now?! Isn't it enough that she wrote about frugal last time?!" Well, first of all apparently all the cool kids are writing about frugal these days, haven't you heard - there's a recession going on. And second of all, this time it's not me. It's my sister-in-law & my brother who were here yesterday and gave us an introductory course into the world of "the young-professionals", better known as a double-income-no-kids household, and they explained the whole FoMo thing.
FoMo is the acronym for - Fear Of Missing Out, which we learnt yesterday is something of an epidemic among young-mature people who are in a constant state of being afraid for their social standing and the way they are perceived among their peers. I sat around for a few hours yesterday and today to read about FoMo, and discovered, firstly, that I have a fear of missing out of interesting syndrome. I immediately want to be a part of it, or at least research the sh$%^t out of it. Secondly I learnt that FoMo is a very big umbrella that you can find a variety of anti-social, rude and idiotic behaviour hiding underneath.
You can have Digital FoMo, where you fear you are missing out on emails, Facebook updates, Twits, etc., and constantly check your computer / phone.
You can have Social FoMo, which is the classic one, the everybody has more fun than me, kind.
You can have Work FoMo, which is both fearing how others see you professionally and the fear that you are forgotten in a meeting or missing out on a project, etc.
You can have Food FoMo, where you fear you are missing on the great new foods / restaurants / diets that everyone else knows about.
Thirdly I learned that FoMo, basically, is where the cool kids feels uncool. So they made it cool, and now it's cool and totally acceptable to have FoMo.
But what I also learnt is that according to the "FoMo quiz", I have FoMo. Which should have made me laugh, but really got me upset so kids, don't try this at home.
The thing is, I can't have FoMo. It's a young people thing, it's a single people thing, it's a we-don't-have-kids-people thing.
I don't need to fear that I am missing things, I know I am. I don't need to check my Facebook to know that once again I will miss this opening, that gig, or the latest exhibition. I know I will.
I also know I don't really care.
Because this is what those FoMo quiz people don't get -
Sure, I check my phone first thing in the morning, because I use it as an alarm clock, and because it only takes once, and after the first time you missed bad news because you haven't checked your phone in the morning, you check your phone in the morning.
Sure, I jump whenever there is an email or message, because I am in a constant state of what-else-could-go-wrong-now. It's the same reason why I can't pass my mailbox without checking it.
Sure, I will look at my phone when it rings wherever I am, because I have kids who are not next to me at that moment, or a husband who is at work, or family and friends who are an ocean or two away, and that phone call is probably to tell me something bad happened (or as it usually happens, to sell me car insurance).
Sure, I have Facebook open on my computer at all times, because a) I need it to get to Candy Crush, and b) how else am I going to not do what I am supposed to be doing?
Do you know how many times I checked my Facebook while writing this post? The only other option is folding my laundry. I prefer checking Facebook.
Sure, I post photos of every fun thing we do. You have NO idea how many photos I have that I don't post.
Sure, I check what everyone else is doing, but it's not because I fear I am missing out on all the fun, it's because all parents have a competition - whose baby is cuter. That is why all parents post identical photos - here is my most beautiful baby sleeping, there is my lovely girl sucking her thumb, etc. I don't mind telling you this because I don't have babies anymore, and because mine were the cutest. But now that they are older, and also seeing as how we don't have many Facebook friends living in London, we enter into a new competition - who can portray a more convincing picture of the perfect family abroad?
So no, I don't have FoMo. I have a paranoid personality with a competitive streak who really likes snooping around on other people.
Well, Hidai just said my conclusion is sad, but true. Nice of him isn't it?
But be that as it may, I have to admit that living here in London, and especially here in this "young professionals" building complex, you find yourself a bit jealous from time to time. There are moments, usually those who calls for chocolate; or those when the "it will be better in two years" doesn't work; or  when you fought with the kids all day, and are now feeling like a low-life and the worst parent put together; there are these moments when you look at them, the young professionals who go to the gym whenever they want, who are dressed nicely in smart clothes, who go out in the middle of the week just because, who have loud parties on the weekends and sleep in, you look at them and feel that pang of jealousy, that pang of "they have it so easy" (also, because of a slight personality defect, it is usually accompanied by a "wait and see when you have kids"). Now, I know, never judge a person before you walk a mile in his shoes, but when I see designer shoes it is sometimes tough being un-judgey.
And yesterday they sat here, my brother and my sister-in-law, and they gave us an honest glimpse into that world. It is such a rare thing looking into a life so different than your own, rare and (for nosy people like me) so intriguing. I think it is true that you only get what you can handle, because I don't think I could handle living like them. I don't think I ever stopped to think about the way these young people (all young people not specifically my brother & sister-in-law) live, how much stressful all this FoMo thing really is. I was looking at them yesterday, explaining their hectic lifestyle and it hit me - it's their baby. Their social life, their FoMo, it is their baby. It is a very demanding thing that you spend money on, constantly have to nurture, to feed, to care for. It takes up every minute of your time and is constantly on your mind. It is not all it's cracked out to be from the outside, sometimes someone pukes on you, and it keeps you up at nights. It is just like a baby.
Except that it's not.
The way I see it, there is only one thing that really makes you realize your full potential as a human-being, and that is having kids. Kids, your kids, makes you try harder, look at things differently, grow-up, be responsible, slow-down, appreciate things differently, worry more than you thought possible, love even more than that. Kids makes you into the best version of yourself you ever thought possible.
FoMo makes you jaded, babies makes you fresh.