The question

Every parent has a list of questions that he doesn't really want to answer. I guess it's different to every family, but there are some common ones - where do babies come from, what happens when you die, why are there poor people, why are there wars in the world, am I going to die, why do I have to clean my room? I am in charge of answering most of these questions, except the babies / private parts / changes as a man things. After all, answering these kind of questions is one of my main reasons for keeping his dad around. Ron had a tendency to ask these questions at the worst timing possible, like when you are in a rush to get everyone ready in those morning when you are already late to school, or when it's past his bedtime, or when you have to answer a really important email. Those are the times he gets the "great question ask it again in 2 to 10 hours please" kind of answer. So we started working with him on the whole "when to talk and when to shut up" etiquette of life (also related to sayings like "I knew nobody will clean this house" or "You did not buy milk? Again?" that were frequent in our house a few weeks back, but are not relevant to the point if this post). Apparently we were successful as we now get these questions at dinnertime, when we can choke on our food while trying to come up with a good answer to the question what is racism.

Not last night, but still pizza

Last night, while we were eating pizza and talking bake-off (it was the finale after all), he asked me the question I was dreading most in the world. I can deal with death, I stumbled my way through racism, I preached about God, but I really really wasn't ready to answer this one - Does Santa exist?
Ron is not the most imaginative child out there, and last year I already had a tiny suspicion that he really doesn't believe in Santa anymore, but I did not ask him directly and somehow managed to convince him that mummy is Santa's elf and that is why I am in charge of everyone's gifts. But it is this time of year again, and the Christmas talks have already began, the Christmas catalogues are making their way to our house, and the stores are filling up with Christmas merchandise. I always knew this day would come, but I always figured it will be later, that I still have some years to enjoy the real Christmas feel, the joy of magic and Santa and carrots for reindeers. When he was younger I thought that I will tell him that yes, of course Santa exist, as in - lie to my child. Yes, I know it isn't the right thing to do, especially when you teach your children that lying is bad, but I really thought that it's the right way to go here, because I really do want to stretch this innocence and childhood phase for as long as I can. I believe that you should believe in Santa, that 8 isn't the age to burst their bubble, that children should stay oblivious to the bad things in life for as long as they can. But like I said, that was when Ron was younger and I thought I had all the answers.

That's me in my elf-costume. Very believable, I know!

About a month ago my friend told me that her daughter was told that there is no Santa by some other child, in a very malicious way, and that she is really upset and feel like she has lost Christmas. My friend said her daughter came to her and asked her if it's true that there is no Santa. She said yes. What else could she have done in this case? I have no idea. It is such a tough call to make in a situation like this, but it got me thinking about how I really don't want Ron to experience that loss of Christmas, and on the other hand I really want him to believe in magic. He is at the transition stage of starting to care what others think of him, of wanting to be like everyone else. It is a glimpse both to the future and his teenage years, and both to the past and my teenage years. Last week they had music-class and the teacher asked each of them if they know another language beside English (most of them do) and if they can say something, I think it was "you're welcome" in their other language. Ron wouldn't. He is the only Jewish / Israeli child in his school (well, now he has Yon so they are two, but you know what I mean) and he felt too embarrassed to say it, he was afraid kids would laugh at him, that they wouldn't like his language, that they would think he is weird. It didn't help that I reminded him that a lot of his classmates are "the only child from...", he still wouldn't. After that came the school decision to celebrate all the different religions and holidays that the kids in our school have around this time of year. I think it's a lovely idea, but he doesn't. You see, we have Hannukah in December, which is my favourite holiday (we get to eat doughnuts for eight days in a row because we have to. How can you not love it?) and the holiday most non-Jewish people recognise. But like I said, he is the only Jewish child in school (no, it did not help when I said that Yon is there too. Neither did it help to remind him that the head teacher is Jewish). This is not his decision to make, but he did say he doesn't want us volunteering to help with anything and embarrassing him.

Hannukah (last year)

This is why it surprised me to no end, and also my amazing achievement for this week, that he came home and declared that he is going to audition for the Christmas play in school. They are doing The Wizard of Oz, in front of the whole school and parents. And not only that, for the first auditions they had to practice a dialogue between Dorothy and the Scarecrow, so they were divided into pairs, and as it turned out, he had to do Dorothy's part. And he did. He practiced his lines every day (with our help - I was the scarecrow and Yon was Toto), learned them by heart and passed his audition with flying colours. On Monday they were told that those who past the first audition had to do a second audition (or in Ron's words - Just like in the X-Factor!). This time he was the scarecrow, and they had to act the scene of meeting the wizard, from where the stage will be, while everyone were watching them. He did. I don't know if he passed or not, he is supposed to get the answer today. But that is not the point of it, the point was that he wanted to be part of something that will put him in the spotlight, and that others can make fun of, and that will make him "different". I am very proud of him (and obviously told him so), because it really doesn't matter what the result will be, it matters that he went for it and did his best (he is so cute when he is acting...).
And as for Santa, I told him that I know some of the kids in his class are saying that there is no Santa, and I know he is getting older and it can be "childish" or "embarrassing" to say out loud that you believe in magic, or in Santa. But the truth is that it is a belief, and beliefs are personal, they are to be kept in your heart alone. You can choose to believe that Santa exist, you can choose to believe that he doesn't. I choose to believe he does. You don't have to tell us or anyone else what you believe in, and furthermore you can say "ha ha, I know he doesn't exist" when deep inside you really do believe he exist. And that Christmas is that much more fun and magical if you choose to believe.