Positivity is Overrated

It's 10pm on Tuesday, and I've been staring at the screen for the past hour trying to figure out what to do. Like every week Tuesday is the time for me to write a post that will go straight to Jane from Ethan's Escapades for her "Small Steps Amazing Achievements" Wednesday linky. I know I am not really committed to Jane, and really I don't even know Jane except through the blog world. For all I know she thinks I am an idiot and the worst writer she's ever seen. But I know that tomorrow morning when Jane will tweet me to say that the linky is open, if I don't have a post to add I will feel bad. I will feel as if I let her down. So here I am, racking my brain, trying to find what to write for tomorrow, and I have nothing. I mean how can you find something positive to write about every single week? And it's not just Jane on Wednesday, on Monday I have "Magic Moment" and on Thursday "Reasons to be cheerful". Really? Every single week? How can people be so positive all the time? And especially in relation to the kids? How is it that other kids are doing positive things every single week? I am not a positive person. If you ever read any of my posts, you already know that I spend 95% of the post dwelling on the negative, and then throw in a positive twist so it will fit the bill. Or if I could manage it, I try to combine all of them into one post, and even that one isn't really what you might call a little ray of sunshine. This week is the worst so far. Last week I skipped Thursday because it was so bad I told Hidai I am on my way to HR to hand in my resignation, and after he reminded me that I work for me (and HR are the kids), I just went underground until Monday. 

We did have a lovely weekend, so I managed a semi-funny half-optimistic post, that included my war with August, dinosaurs, "the wild" and even had doughnuts. Nobody read it. Apparently nobody likes my humour. Or doughnuts. 

Doughnuts. 

Unfortunately, Monday & Tuesday did not go down well with the kids, and the only amazing achievement I could think of from the top of my head is me not banishing them to their room for most of the day. 

Kids. Not behind closed doors

Yon didn't do anything resembling an achievement this week, unless you consider his amazing ability to not stop talking even while sleeping an achievement. I know he does. Other than that, since last week all that changed is the fact that we stopped his 2pm nap, because he won't be able to nap when he goes to Reception in September, and also because to be honest he stopped falling asleep awhile ago, but he still needed his rest and so did we. But now we decided he should get used to not having a 2 hours quiet rest time a day. A decision that will be rewarded in September, but at the moment we regret daily. So not such an achievement. 

Yon. Trying his best to look innocent

Ron, bless him, is in a constant state of get-me-out-of-here, combined with growling and nonstop complaining. It is an achievement I guess to be able to complain about anything and everything. We take them out for a day of fun activities, we get "I didn't have time to read today". We stay at home we get a "we haven't left the house again". We play the WII together I get a "when are we going to play Scrabble . We do a puzzle together I get a "but we didn't play the WII today". Amazing. On top of that we are now going through a stage of unwillingness to make an effort at anything, and dealing with any hurdle is done through shouting, crying, and.. You guessed it - complaining. It is for a different post, but sometimes parenting a gifted child is not all that easy. Especially when you are trying to teach him to deal with not succeeding, with not knowing all the answers, with the need to work systematically and hard to succeed. What can I say, today after I made him cry for the second day in a row because I wouldn't let him quit and wouldn't give him the answer, I definitely felt like it was a Hallmark moment, what an amazing achievement, and a proud parenting moment. 

Ron. Pre-crying

The truth is, I wanted to write about myself, but I wasn't sure if it's in accordance with Jane's rules, and after all, I did make an 8 years old cry. Twice. After said 8 years old declared happily that he saw a marked improvement from yesterday, gave himself a 10 in puzzle-doing (no. We usually refrain from marking the kids on playing) and that he loves himself best, but also likes me, I thought about it and decided that after that intro Jane will probably banish me from her linky anyway, so I should just go for it. 

a 10 in puzzle doing

Me. I've made a small step. And an amazing achievement this past week.  
I've written my Lost on Twitter post last Monday. It was about how bad I am at all this blogging thing, and especially in the social media arena. Since then I decided to not be a hypocrite (not an obvious one at any rate) and try to improve my social standing. I did manage to not get it even lower, so that is something I reckon. I still feel like the outcast on Twitter, like everyone has friends and people who care if they come to a blogging event and I don't, like I am over-trying, like I will never be one of those "I don't know how that happened" people. I find it all so hard, so demanding, so out of my comfort zone. But I tried, and if it all goes well (and assuming none of them read this post and changes her mind) I will have a chance to reccomend 5 blogs I love over at Love all Blogs in October, and I will be a guest blogger at 3 Children and It, and you can look for me on MUM Network in my first post there sometime this month. I even have a Pinterest account fresh from today. 
All I have left now is to find the answer to a question from a blogging course I'm taking, what is my blogging strength? What do I bring to the table?
As it seems, where everyone else brings happiness, positivity and sunshine, I bring cynicism, self-deprecation and complaints. 
So watch out for my first "dreadful moments linky".