2012: On Fluff and Stuff

2012 In review. Sounded so easy in my mind. Everybody does it - write what you did this year, add some nice photos from every month, you know - to represent, put in some sappy comments about light and love and happiness and finish it all with some all-inspiring new year resolutions in broad terms that remind you of a beauty contestent saying she will use her victory to create world peace.
So why can't I? I am all for world peace.
But somehow sitting here in front of my computer, something just does not click. Sitting here next to my computer, it's 10:30 pm, kids are asleep (first night since they came back from the holidays that they actually fell asleep on time), and Hidai and I are sitting across from each other working (we have not had the luxury of going to sleep on time this week yet), and it doesn't seem right somehow to take this year and just fluff it.
2012 was a year of change. And because of that it was full of everything - happiness, sorrow, worries, laughter, arguments and love. And because it's us, we did everything fully. We had (still have) issues in every area of our lives - work, finance, family, health.
And as always - we did it all together. And are stronger for it. Yes, I am a big believer in the What Does Not Kill You Makes You Stronger methodology, and it was our theme song for a while this year. Yes, we have theme songs. It is not our theme song anymore so I guess things are better. On second thought, maybe not, because right now our theme song is apparently Bohemian Rhapsody, the muppets version. Kids go nuts for it.
Anyway, theme songs aside, 2012 was not an easy one. But then again, like Hidai likes to tell me when I say that this week was rough, when did we ever had an easy one?
In a nutshell I guess you could describe the year like this - we started the year in Gibraltar, with a visit from my parents, Hidai working in a Start-Up, and with a clear sense of the future. We went for a weekend in London, I got itchy feet, the Start-Up went bankrupt, we found ourselves with no money, no work and no real clear sense of future. We had 3.5 months of looking for jobs around the world (okay London and SF), a visit from my parents, and living on the last of our savings, some loans and a lot of uncertainties. Hidai found this great job in London, we closed our life in Gibraltar in exactly 8 days, went to Israel for 10 days for some family, doctors and bureaucracy time, and arrived in London on the 1st of July (with my parents). Found a house and a school in under 2 weeks, and had no time to think about our sense of future. We've been in London for exactly 6 months, finding our way. Hidai started working, kids started school, and all of us started licking our wounds. We settled into our new home and new life, did London for tourists (London Eye, Buckingham Palace, Tower bridge, Covent Garden etc), downloaded a budget app, had 2 more visits from my parents (5 in total this year. A new record), celebrated Christmas and found out we can no longer say "this is where we are going to live forever" with a straight face.
Rough times usually teaches you more than you want. Our year taught us about fear. It's not really true, because the scariest moments of our lives were in July 2011, when Ron had had to undergo dental surgery that required general anaesthesia. Those 32 minutes we sat outside waiting were the scariest moments of our lives. This year was a different kind of fear. It was the kind of fear that scar you. That doesn't leave you even after everything's fine. Our year taught us about the fragility of everything we take for granted - job, health, security, etc. Most of all I think, our year taught us about loyalty, and help, and who we can trust. We got the answer to the question - when you're down, who will be there to pick you up? And the answer was not a pretty one.The thing with this kind of lessons is, they don't go away. You can never untake the red pill.
It also taught us, that we can survive it all.
I am also a big believer in the Everything Happens For The Best methodology (even though it does not go with any theme song). And Starting 2013 I can see all the benefits we achieved. In a lot of ways this year brought us closer together, Hidai was without work for the first time ever, it's been years (8 to be exact) since we had so much time alone together, and we remembered how much we love being together all the time and doing everything together. Leaving Gibraltar and the eGaming, hard as it was, opened the whole world for us, Hidai's new job has given him a new challenge and a new area, the move gave the kids a better education and better options (and in Yon's case - better doctors). Moving to London was our dream for the past 9 years, and we've managed to realise it.
2012 Changed us. It made us more cautious. More guarded. It changed the way we look at our future. We no longer have certainties. We know how many things are not in our control.
It unified us and reminded us all the reasons we love each other.
It brought us to London.
What will 2013 bring? I really can't say. At the moment we are here, building back the foundations of our lives. Getting the kids settled in and feeling secure again, Hidai progressing with work, as a family we are trying to enjoy everything London has to offer us, making memories. And for me? I know it might sound silly or stupid, but for me this year is that - to see that everyone's settled down. This year is about the ability to just breathe easy.