Meeting the Prime Minister - internet safety for kids discussion

Last Friday Good Housekeeping Magazine invited me to participate in a discussion about Children's safety on the internet. All you have to do, they said, is head over to the House of Commons and ask Claire Perry some questions (and as we discovered upon arrival - also the Prime Minister. Thankfully they haven't told us before about meeting the PM. I think I would have been even more nervous). No biggie. I said sure, I would come along, after all I just got an opening in my calendar because the queen postpone our meeting. After going through all my clothes (what do you wear when you are heading over to a meeting at the House of Parliament?), freaking out a little, and researching the subject for half the night, I treated myself for an Orange Mocha at Starbucks (it's a known thing that Starbucks Holiday Range is good for the nerves. And the soul), and found myself walking along Victoria st. towards Big Ben, watching all the tourists and the London around me. Life is funny like this sometimes, and there is no point of time where you were to ask me if I thought I would be going to a meeting with the Prime Minister in the House of Commons and I would have said yes. And yet here I was.
It was my first time in the House of Commons, and unfortunately they didn't let us take photos of the interesting parts (also, everyone else said they've already been there and I didn't want to be the only obviously-you-don't-belong-here person and take loads of photos outside), but they led us to a funny shaped room to sit comfortably and eat jam cookies and drink some tea. There will be some official photos, and probably an article in GH (around March I think. This is what they wrote about it so far), where I will probably look like a fish or a deer, so go buy the magazine. If nothing else for the hilarious photos.

Working on my deer-look

We've had three discussions, the first one was with the Consumer Director at GH magazine, TalkTalk's Head of PR, and the PM press officer. Then we got to talk to Claire Perry, the PM special advisor for this subject, and lastly we've met David Cameron and talked to him about the importance of it all.
I've been debating with myself what and how to write about this terribly important subject. I don't want to preach. I don't want to get into a political discussion, and I couldn't be bothered with the whole free-speech-is-above-all propaganda. So I have rewritten this post about 5 times by now, and am still at a loss. Internet-Safety is a tricky subject you see. It's something you usually don't give a second thought to unless you have children. And if you did give it a second thought before that, you'd probably be on the free-speech, who-are-they-to-tell-me-how-to-live side of the debate. But once you do have children it starts looming over you, and with every year that passes you discover how much bigger, darker, tougher to handle this subject really is. So the free-internet-guys (it's always men isn't it? I could say something about porn here, but I'm restraining myself) will tell you it's technologically impossible (it's really, really not), that the internet is a free space, and most of all - that it's our responsibility as parents to raise our children.
Why would I, they say, suffer because you can't teach your kids not to google profanities like... I don't know... Girl? Why should the government tell me what I can and can't google? Why should I have restrictions put on my freedom because of YOU?
Walk a mile in my shoes is my answer. Well, to be honest it isn't my real answer, because my real answer will include something about free-porn. But it will also be about shared responsibility. It takes a village to raise a child, doesn't it? I know, there I go again with my corny-hippy-sappy talk, but the truth is in some things in life we should set the bar by the weakest, not the strongest.
I could also point out here that in every other aspect of our lives we don't enjoy "complete freedom" - we have the watershed on TV, we have bans on smoking, we have drinking laws, we have age ratings in movies and video games, we have laws about gambling, we have an age of consent. Those are just a few examples, but they all amount to the same thing - we protect our young.
The internet can't and shouldn't, be any different.

Waiting outside with the others 

Technology is not the enemy, it is a wonderful tool that allows us to do things older generations could only dream about, it allows people like my Yon to overcome disabilities and disadvantages. It allows gifted children like my Ron to realise their full potential. Technology, and the internet in it, should be used every day in the education system, at home, in the work place.
But as one of the leading experts on the subject said - letting your child use the internet without proper instructions and education is like giving him the car keys without teaching him how to drive first.
Internet safety is first and foremost about education. It's about educating those who aren't parents why it's important and why it's right, it's about educating us - the parents - on what it means and how to do it correctly, and it's about educating the children, to make sure they understand the unforgiving nature of the internet, the dangers, their responsibility.

Hey, you can see my legs! (photo by the PM office)

As I listened to everyone talking on Friday (I have to say I was a little star-struck and also I am not an "interrupt the PM while he is talking" kind of person. I leave that to our second meeting), I realized that they were all saying exactly that. All the components of this equation have to work together for us to be able to protect our children.
You have the childless, the government, the companies, the parents, the schools, the children. I can't lie and tell you we got to talk about all of it, or that anyone has an answer to everything, or that everyone is doing everything they can. I can tell you that it's a blooming good start. That the climate today is changing, and that we are on the right path. It is not the same answer I would have given you before Friday. And you know what? I am ashamed of it. I am ashamed, because I am computer savvy, I am a good parent, I have never let my kids play GTA or other inappropriate games, my computer sits in the middle of the living room for all to see, and I didn't even know how much I don't know.
I don't have parental control switched on in any of my devices. Silly isn't it? But the truth is I wouldn't even know where to start. Is it per device? Per browser? How do you switch them on or off? Where do you even get them? Can you put them on the phone? I just gave up before I even started. Apparently I am not the only one (not that it should make me feel any better, but still...), and Talk-Talk (whom all I knew about until Friday was that it sponsors the X-Factor, but is actually one of the leading internet suppliers in the UK) recognised it and were the first one to tackle this problem of parental control head-on. They created a network-based solution - Home Safe, where every computer or device that logs on to your network is automatically protected. They say a third of their customers already use it. Sky launched a similar product last week called Sky Broadband Shield. I am assuming BT and Virgin will both have similar products out soon enough. From next year all those filters will be turned on automatically for everyone and you will have to ask to turn them off. It won't go into any list, no one will care if you choose to turn it off, and it wouldn't be document anywhere, but the tables would turn and those who don't want the protection will have to act, not those who do want it. You would also be able to choose to turn it off at night after your kids have gone to bed, and it will automatically turn on the next morning.
Those four companies, who have around 85% of the internet market in the UK will also launch a very big and expensive three years campaign to help us learn and understand more about internet safety. And it will all be because of that shared responsibility. Nothing of it will be legislated. Why, you ask? Well, first of all so there could be small companies that "total freedom" will be their selling point, because technology moves too fast for the government to really be able to, and to stop the free-speech cries.
But what happens when you leave the house? Well, apparently if you buy a mobile phone (or give one) for a teenager, you should say so at the store and they will automatically put some restrictions on it. It should be better advertised, and also easier to do yourself, but at least it's a start, and the free-cloud is already censored, and schools have filtering systems of their own, so our kids should be protected.
Talking about the schools, from next year they will have a more extensive curriculum in primary schools to teach the kids about internet safety, in the sense of never giving your password to anyone, not talking to strangers, and about cyber-bullying and how to deal with it (what it is, always save the messages, tell an adult, etc.). Hopefully there will also be a conversation about sexting and the dangers of doing things like sending a topless photo of yourself, posting all kind of photos, etc.
The government have managed to pursued Google & Microsoft to block 100,000 search terms globally in an attempt to make the internet cleaner and less pedophile friendly. Some would say that pedophiles don't use the internet for this, just the "dark internet". I have no idea, as I am not an expert on the subject, but common sense says that, well, you shouldn't be allowed to look up "naked ten years old" and actually get results. Of course there should be a war against "dark internet", there should be more funds for it, but you should also send a message that you are cleaning up the regular internet. You can't go into the store and buy a magazine with naked ten years old. You shouldn't be able to google it either.

Our panel - photo by Good Housekeeping Magazine

As I see it, these are all important things, but they are not enough. Not even close. Because it doesn't really tackle the issues of cyber bullying which to be honest is what terrifies most parents these days, or the problem of hiding behind anonymous accounts (they did say they are working on it, but there are too many sites and too many companies and too little ways to check); it doesn't tackle the ads in children apps and the ease in which they can buy apps and add-ons on our devices; it doesn't tackle strangers posting as children and engaging with our children online. It doesn't really help us solve the most pressing issues at this moment.
The world is changing. There is no doubt about it. The internet will no longer be the lawless Wild-West that it has become. We aren't there yet, actually we are far far away. The UK is leading the way on this, we are leading the discussion, and as a third of all household in the UK, our voice as parents should be heard in this discussion.
Somewhere down this line, though it doesn't really want to, the government will have to intervene more. It will have to set better, clearer, more defined rules as to what is and isn't permitted on the internet. It will have to prosecute more, to listen less to the cries for free-speech. Just like in every other space. Somewhere down that line they will have to understand that we have a voice, and that it matters. Somewhere down the line companies like Twitter and Facebook and Last.FM will have to understand that they too belong to the shared responsibility, and help us fight this thing because it's right. Regardless of profitability.
The Consumer Director of GH Magazine put it beautifully when she said - they (the kids) are digital native; we (the parents) are digital immigrants. We, like the government, are constantly chasing the new technology, the new buzz, the new lol's (who here knows what POS means?) while the tech-companies and kids are just... There. But we are not powerless or voiceless. And somewhere down the line we will have to teach them all that what you can't write or do under your own name isn't worth doing.

I bought chocolate in the gift shop. Hopefully they are better at legislating than at chocolate making

Three last things -
1. If you do nothing else, please do this - if your child has a computer in his/her room, please have them cover / turn around / shut down the camera. It is possible to turn on from afar and watch your child in the privacy of his/her own room and then use that on porn sites / blackmail them / etc.
2. This is NOT a sponsored post.
3. This is NOT a political blog, nor will it become one. Mostly because I don't like political arguments. Doesn't mean I don't have strong political views or that I'm unwilling to voice them when necessary. Just meant that for me, internet safety is not a political subject but a parental one.