To Blog or Not To Blog, and also it's Christmukah!

I haven't been here for a while. Some of it is because I am spending this past few weeks half-healthy, or on the verge of yet another illness if you prefer. Some of it was because I was so so busy with organising Christmikah, which always starts with "what's the problem?" and turns in to a military operation filled with excel spreadsheets and wrapping papers.
But mostly it was not being sure if I wanted to come back. I felt the Blog lost its way a bit, or maybe it was me, I am not really sure... But anyway I needed some time to think about the purpose of it all. When we first moved out of Israel, we were still a part. A part of other people lives, people who we left behind and who cared about us. I had a small closed Hebrew Blog that was intended just for those people, to make sure that they will stay a part of our life. Also, I am very bad at keeping in touch. So so very bad. And I am no good in conversations, so the Blog is my way of never having to talk about myself. But the years went by and people moved on. It's a fact of life I guess. But we are not a part anymore. We haven't been to Israel much these last 3 years, and bit by bit our life has changed so much that we couldn't stay a part. As I am writing this while listening to my Xmax playlist, I feel free to say that our life today has no resemblance to our life 3 years ago when we left Israel. It is also changing from the life we had in Gibralter, as every place is different. So the people who I wanted to read stopped reading the Blog, and I lost my one last connection to them. I know not everyone thinks a Blog is a personal way of staying in touch, and it can't be directed to them if it public. But it is. When I write I have these images of people sitting around my table (not crazy. Really. Promise), and knowing they are not reading it made me feel... Forgotten I guess. So what's the point? it's so hard trying to put our lives on a piece of paper, to find the right words, to open up our inner family-life, our dilemmas and hurts, to know that it's out there in the open (and in English). And in the end, that nobody cares.
I know I am writing about how hard life is at the moment. I know that does not make for very fun reading. I guess why would anyone want to read about how hard it is for us in London? I get it. I totally do. So I guess it is mostly my fault. I can say that the 5 months we've been here went by with the blink of an eye (which is true), that Hidai is very happy in his new job (also true), and that the kids are doing GREAT in school (again, true). But it would be only half the story, and for me, without the interesting parts, without the parts that makes life what they are. And yes, right now, since we've only been here 5 months, life is still an adjustment. We are still finding our way. And to me, writing about all these struggles is more real than just saying, yea everything's great here's a photo of Covent Garden.
In the end of the day though, I can't make anyone read. I can't make anyone care. And I can't make anyone understand what it's like moving countries with two kids. But here I am, writing again. Why? First of all, because I prefer to repress everything I just wrote and keep on believing that everyone's reading me, and second because apparently some people are reading me, most of them from the UK, and since I know about 3 people here, I have to assume some people find me interesting :).

The past 3 weeks has been packed with activities and illnesses, with all of us (including Hidai, who is making me explain that he was not really sick. Just a tiny tiny bit) suffering from the unfamiliar viruses that are running around. We seem to catch every single one of them. Fun times.
Ron had an assembly at school, or "Show and Tell" as they call it here. It was a 20 minutes show about ancient Egypt, and he delivered his 2 lines superbly. He was so nervous and excited before, we were afraid he is going to faint on stage... He also had his first parents-teacher meeting, to which his very young (and adorable) teacher wore a suit :). He is a great teacher, and he is getting Ron to do things we would have never guessed are possible (like painting. Or writing stories), and he sat with us with his infinite patience and explained everything, answered all our questions, and put our minds at ease. I don't like writing about Ron at school, it seems wrong somehow, so I will just say that he is doing great, and that the fact that he chose the school when we got here gave him a sense of control that he needed, and that he made the right choice. The school is exactly what he needs.
Both kids made their Christmas cards to give out in class. It's not a big deal except for the fact that they were the only ones who did it. We did ask before and Tyler's mum said that it is done, but apparently not really. Ron didn't care, and this year he made an extra effort and wrote each kid a special personal note. They also had a Winter Fair at school, to which we donated all the toys they don't want anymore (always have a spring cleaning before Christmas or you will not have any room for those massive amounts of new toys...) and were able to not replace them with new ones... Ron preformed with the choir, and Yon got to see his first Santa for the year. Unfortunately he is still very much afraid of all Santas so this will also be his last Santa for the year. Luckily it was his nursery teacher (yes, both kids have male teachers, both of them young and adorable), so after he took off the beard and revealed himself we got Yon to sit beside him. Ron was super excited because he had a chance to meet Yon's teacher... He knew from the start it wasn't "the real Santa"...
Because of all the illness, especially the main chef's (that's me!), we had a very light Hannukah this year, with Sainsbury's doughnuts and no guests... We were supposed to have a family gathering for the first candle but since Ron chose the day before to catch my stomach bug and puked his way through school, we postponed to next year. It was kind of hard on us, first of all because I love love love holidays (one of the reasons we adopt every stray holiday we see), second because I love December holidays (Hannukah, Christmas and our anniversary. What is there not to love?!), and third because we miss the friends we left in Gibraltar and who made last year's December fantastic. We don't have it here, because building new relationships is a tough, time consuming, trial and error process, that I don't think we were aware how much we didn't want to go through again... Sometimes I think moving for the second time is like having a second child - what you miss most are the things you worked the hardest to achieve and that have no shortcuts for the second time around. Like friendships. Anyway, back to Hannukah, I did go up to Golders Green to buy some decorations, candles and dreidels, and we light the candles each night. Hearing Yon bless the candles is the funniest thing ever. Like in any other song, he makes up half the words and there is always a Zebra somewhere in the middle...
Yesterday I was feeling like a normal healthy person, so I made Latkes (which Ron loves and Yon ate because we told him it's like mashed potatoes...) and today they got the easy and fast version of home-made doughnuts. I still have to make one batch of real doughnuts, because it's not really Hannukah otherwise...
Christmas tree is up! We put it up last weekend, and this year we also have lights on the balcony, and lights on the kids' window, and lots of indoor decorations! I love it! The house looks so festive with all the Christmukah decorations. Ron helped a lot with putting all the decorations on the tree, Hidai is in charge of lights, and Yon was in charge of destroying each and every one of the candy-canes. Also he likes going around touching the tree. Not sure why. I really wanted a real tree this year, mainly because there are so many of them going around, and it is so cool! But the boys out-ruled me because of the dirt. It didn't matter how many subtle hints I threw around, i did not even get my mini-tree (another hint...). I did get a vague "next year" promise. Yeah right.
We also have a giant tree in the middle of the garden, filled with lights, that just makes me smile every day. I absolutely love Christmas. Not the religious Christmas. Like I don't celebrate the Israeli Hannukah. I love my meaning of these holidays. The meaning I teach my kids - of miracles, and hope, and light. That the tiniest light can chase away darkness. That miracles are possible. That we are free to choose what we want to believe in. That life is light and laughter.

Next week is the beginning of Christmas vacation, and my parents are coming for 2 weeks.
It is also our anniversaries week - it will be 12 years that Hidai and I are together, 9 Years that we are married and 3 years since we left Israel.
So yeah, it is true that not everything is how I hoped it would, and that we are still adjusting, but hey (and I feel I am entitled to finish with a sappy note) look how far we've come my baby